NLP Anchors: Look out for negative triggers#2 in the "NLP & Driving Your own Bus"NLP and Negative Anchors Series of 5 newsletters What’s your emotional response to the following:  | Being spoken to in a patronising manner? | | Being ignored by them when you ask someone a question? | | Having somebody ‘jump a queue’ in which you are patiently waiting? | | Being tailgated while driving? |
Many people will have an immediate rush of irritability or anger in such situations. These are common negative anchors or hot buttons or triggers for anger. (They're the highest-rated triggers on our online 'Anger Poll' What is a negative anchor?In NLP a negative anchor is an immediate and automatic emotional response to something. With negative anchors we don't need to do any thinking in order to get ourselves into a bad mood - we encounter the trigger and that's it - our mood takes a dive. Not just for angerNLP negative anchors are not just for anger, of course. We’ll likely have lots of negative anchors anxiety, insecurity, self-consciousness, loneliness, rejection, panic, and so on. And the trigger can be something we see or hear or feel – or even something we think about that might happen or has happened. (We do have positive anchors too, of course, and we can create more of these – watch out for a future newsletter on this topic.) How is a negative anchor different from a negative thought?They can be the same – some thoughts are anchors. However the difference is in the speed. An ordinary everyday negative thought can result in a negative mood if we dwell on it for long enough. But with a ‘proper’ negative anchor there is no delay – the mood change is immediate! For example, let's say you're at home resting after a day at work and you begin thinking about how Jack spoke to you in a curt or disrespectful manner that morning. Continue dwelling on this and re-running the incident and talking to yourself about it - and, yes, your mood will crash dive. But it’s not a ‘real’ negative anchor because you’ve had to work at getting yourself into the bad mood! However, let's say things occurred differently and the moment Jack speaks to you in this manner you feel upset or angry – here there’s no need to dwell upon it - your mood changes instantly. This is the kind of negative anchor that can change your day and make you feel like the world is out to get you today! How is a negative anchor different from a negative thought?If you have lots of these negative anchors your day is a bit like a minefield. You set out in the morning feeling fine but it only takes a "funny look" from a friend or stranger for your mood to change. Or... | The bus or tube being delayed | | Someone jostling you as you go through a doorway | | A slow driver in front of you if you’re driving | | A friend not being interested enough in what a bad day you’re having | | A colleague using the ‘wrong’ tonality or facial expression. | | And if you drive a car you've probably a whole set of other hot buttons: other people's driving habits, traffic conditions, red traffic lights, traffic wardens, etc. |
The effect of all this is that you’ll feel like you’re at the mercy of events - anyone and everyone can be driving your mood! Positive thinking doesn't work...!Having lots of powerful negative anchors can be quite demoralising. We know we "shouldn't" be so easily affected by circumstances and by people. We want to feel more in charge of our moods. We want to think more positively. We read books about how easily other people seem to be able to achieve these results – yet we can't seem to get to grips with our own mood-shifts! And the reason is quite simple: positive thinking methods simply do not work with negative anchors of this kind - because the mood change is too quick and too intense. There’s no gap between the trigger and our emotional response to it in which to insert some positive thinking! The solution?There are two stages to dealing with negative anchors: 1. Discover your common triggers 2. Defuse these mentally before you encounter them again
(1) Discover your common triggers: ...the clue to having encountered a negative anchor is that your mood is less pleasant than it was a while ago! Once you recognise this think back over the last few minutes, or hours, to when you felt fine. Now come forward again to discover the point at which your mood changed. That’s where you’ll find the trigger. Recognising that you have responded to an automatic button is quite an important part of driving your own bus. Yes, you may still be feeling wound up or put down. Yes, you’ll likely get triggered again. But… recognising that it’s ‘just an anchor’ takes some of the power out of the anchor and out of the mood. The process is now no longer occurring outside your awareness. And knowing that your mood changed because of a negative anchor, rather than because you are weak or temperamental or have ‘the wrong genes’, means that it’s not you or your personality that’s at fault - you simply have developed a negative anchor which needs dealing with. (2) Defuse these mentally and in advance: The best technique for this is the Swish and there's an article on it here: http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_swish.htm. The Swish, like all NLP techniques, can be learned from a book or an article but the results will not be the same as if you have learned it ‘live’ as part of an interactive training in which you learn how to prepare for it, which other skills to incorporate, and what to do when it doesn’t seem to be working in the basic format. The "NLP & Driving your own Bus" Series 1. Pay attention to what you do want! 2. Watch out for those Negative Anchors 3. NLP and the Triangle of Health 4. The value of those negative moods 5. Unfinished business undermines peace of mind © 2000-2010 Reg Connolly - copyrighted, all rights reserved - but you can freely pass this newsletter on to friends as long as you do so in its entirety, include this message and link: http://www.nlp-now.co.uk Please contact us for written permission if you would like to reproduce this article in your own newsletter, literature or web publication. To receive our free newsletter subscribe here | 
