Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) isn't just about mental tricks

An internet search on NLP or 'what is NLP?' or a look through current NLP book titles can give the impression that NLP is about 'doing things to other people' such as creating rapport with them, persuading them, changing them, coaching them or even (heaven help us) seducing them!

Yes, the huge field of NLP can enable us to do these things and many more. But the commercial pressures to sell courses or sell books has resulted in widespread impression that NLP is a just set of mental tricks. And this is missing a big part of what NLP really is.

So what is it?

The name Neuro-linguistic Programming was created around 35 years ago in an attempt to provide a comprehensive title for the huge body of knowledge that NLP was already becoming.

Neuro: this refers to the way in which NLP pays attention to how our physiology/neurology is involved in everything we do

Linguistic: how our non-verbal, and especially our spoken or subvocalised verbal language, is involved in everything we do

Programming: the way in which we develop and utilise systematic methods (or 'recipes' or 'programmes') to achieve the results we achieve in life.

That, at least, was the original master plan for the field of NLP - it would become

• a comprehensive and holistic approach to understanding how people function
• a means of 'modelling' or emulating successful functioning
• a means of systematically facilitating change in how a person does things.

The missing body part!

A great master plan in theory. But very soon mainstream NLP began to become known for its mental tricks rather than its more thorough and holistic potential. And the body part - the 'neuro' - sort of got forgotten about.

I first came across NLP towards the end of 1979 while studying hypnotherapy and counselling. It fascinated me and really suited where I then was with my personal development so, as I gradually began to use my hypnotherapy therapy and counselling skills, I began introducing some very basic NLP, too.

However, as part of ongoing personal development journey I began attending body-work seminars and workshops in the early 80s and it was a real eye-opener to discover just how important is the role that our physiology plays in our functioning.

Bodywork journey

I'd spent a couple of weeks on a Touch for Health Instructor training. (Touch for Health is a lay form of Applied Kinesiology). At the training I'd had a great time, learned lots, become quite skilled and learned a lot about me through my body.

Then I attended a seminar in London at which most of the participants were NLP-oriented.

Dave Dobson's workshops

The seminar featured the wise and wonderful (and no longer with us) Dave Dobson and was great. (So great, in fact, that I still use material from it. In fact, I think that I pass on more of what I learned from Dave then than from any other trainer I have encountered.)

And yet this was the point at which I was initially turned off NLP. Because of the other participants. Dave Dobson exhibited warmth, friendliness, humour and a deep interest in other people. Most of the participants did not. They knew lots - and they said so. They talked a good talk - but didn't walk it.

Some of them were attending the current extended training - at that time the UK equivalent to the NLP Practitioner Certification Programme. However I did not see nor experience much rapport. Nor did I discern much interest, on their part, in other people - apart from their continuously trying to analyse people according to representational systems, body language, congruence versus incongruence, etc.

Bodywork

The contrast between this rather analytical, intellectual and humourless bunch and the people I had made friends with at the Touch for Health course was marked. And it caused me to question whether or not to continue with NLP.

The questioning and wondering went on for about a year and a half.

It was a very valuable period. I explored some fascinating routes to personal change (and made a few important personal breakthroughs) including Applied Kinesiology, Educational Kinesiology, Clinical Kinesiology, the work of Dr. Sheldon Deal, Neo-Reichian bodywork, and the very interesting field of Bioenergetics.

But bits of NLP kept creeping into what I was doing in these areas too, almost as if my unconscious mind was reminding me that I couldn't just drop NLP. And then a few things occurred to me.

A dilemma

I was now at a crossroads. I'd been using NLP for a few years, was sold on it and had experience of how it could produce results in my own life and with people who came to my stress management classes and counselling sessions.

However I did not feel completely at ease with it - and mixing with the 'bodywork people' highlighted why. They were different to the 'NLP people' - for the most part they came across as warmer, friendlier, more genuine, more humorous and.... more human. And as a result of this recognition I almost decided to part company with the world of NLP.

But as I began meeting and chatting with more NLPers I recognised that the majority of people at the Dave Dobson seminar and a few others that I'd attended were just a majority - not everyone in NLP at the time was like this. They were simply reflecting what and how they had learned. This did not mean NLP had to be like this.

I decided that, instead of jettisoning a wonderful process because of how it was being manifested by some, I should do something about making NLP more fun, more human, and more grounded in the physical.

Pegasus NLP began in the early 90s we gradually started making our style of NLP more experiential and multi-sensory through the use of play, fun, challenges, and physical involvement. In 1999 we began introducing outdoor physical activities, including the High and Low Ropes. The result is our Practitioner Certification Programme which seamlessly integrates these elements.

The 'Neuro' in NLP

For us a very important aspect of NLP was being reactivated: the 'neuro' part of the name 'Neuro-Linguistic Programming'. John Grinder had started it, Scout Cloud Lee and her team have been enthusiastically working with it ever since. No doubt other training organisations have been doing the same, quietly and in their own way.

The fun...

We have also found that engaging in physical activities with other people has made the workshops and training more fun, more humorous, and has enabled people to break through a lot of the heavy-serious adult patterns that they had become trapped in.

Click on these links for more information about NLP

NLP FAQ

Why learn NLP

How to learn NLP

Where to learn NLP - and how to choose a training provider

NLP Core Skills - our course in the New Forest

What's special about Pegasus NLP Trainings

What people have said about our courses

How we integrate NLP with outdoor activities